Daily news and events continue to unfold during this crisis. Some are painful, and some carry the scent of victory. Parents' reactions in front of their children differ greatly when hearing these daily updates. Some parents may unintentionally stir negative feelings such as fear, frustration, or negative assumptions about Allah. This makes children tense, withdrawn, afraid, or discouraged, and may even lead to unusual misbehavior caused by suppressed anger about what is happening, as some mothers have shared with me. Other parents use the very same news and events as opportunities to instill deeply important meanings that have emerged through this crisis, planting precious feelings that our children need just as plants need water. So what is your reaction when you hear the news? What feelings do you experience and pass on to your children? Be mindful of your reaction and emotions toward what is happening, and nurture the following ten important feelings that build your child's character: Compassion: By being moved by the suffering of others and feeling a genuine desire to do something that eases their pain. This is the most important quality that makes a human truly human. Suffering should be conveyed wisely according to age. Avoid distressing scenes for children under twelve, and highlight stories of dignity and steadfastness for all ages. Giving: Through individual and collective supplication, charity, boycotting companies that support oppression, and similar actions. Belonging: By genuinely caring about what is happening and nurturing a shared sense of unity, like one body that feels it when any part of it is in pain. Courage: By watching videos and photos and hearing stories that show the courage of our people as they face their crisis, so our children can learn from their bravery. Hope: By expressing hopeful feelings for their victory and avoiding discouragement despite the difficulties, and by sharing stories of divine support and success granted to those who stand firm seeking the pleasure of Almighty Allah.

When your principles in life are noble and your goals align with these principles, you will respect yourself in proportion to the greatness of the principles you believe in. And the more your actions match these principles, the more your self-respect grows and the higher your self-esteem becomes. When a person speaks about believing in noble principles yet acts in the opposite way, he loses his self-respect to the same degree as the gap between his principles and his behavior. Some people may think it is clever to deceive others by wearing a mask that makes them appear to hold great principles, when in reality they are deceiving no one as much as they are deceiving themselves. They do not realize that they are igniting a voice of self-contempt deep within, a voice that corrupts their positive feelings toward themselves at every moment, leaving them without self-respect and without any sense of their true worth. For this reason, the people who despise themselves the most are the hypocrites and the narcissists who live in continuous deception, while Satan adorns this deception for them and leads them to believe they are the cleverest of all, when in truth they are only the most contemptible before themselves and before those who see through them. To respect yourself and value yourself means to be genuine, not false. It means your words align with your actions. And if you slip, and your actions contradict your words and principles, then nothing will restore you except repentance, which brings you back to your true self, closes the gap that has formed within you, and returns you to honesty with yourself in the most beautiful way. O Allah, return us to You in a beautiful return.

Should a person thank himself? And for what should he thank himself? Does thanking oneself lead to conceit? And what if a person does not thank himself? Will it affect his sense of self-worth? What is the effect of a person's sense of self-worth on his psychological state and behavior? These were questions I received from trainees in the Diploma of the Nurturer of the Creative Moral Character, which began a week ago. We were discussing the importance of stirring positive emotions to release happiness hormones that lead to brain flourishing and the achievement of happiness and Well-being, in accordance with positive psychology. Gratitude releases important positive hormones that support Emotional Stability and brain flourishing, including serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine, whether this gratitude is directed toward Allah, toward others, or toward oneself. Gratitude spreads within a person a sense of appreciation, contentment, and happiness. For this reason, the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, encouraged gratitude and said: Whoever does not thank people has not thanked Allah. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi. We are among the people. So should we thank ourselves? And how can we do so without falling into conceit? Thanking oneself is part of thanking Allah. When we become aware of the small actions we have done throughout our day, we become aware of Allah's blessings upon us. Without His enabling grace, we would not have moved from our places, nor initiated anything, nor accomplished any action. This gratitude helps us appreciate ourselves and feel the value of what we do, while thanking Allah at the same time and attributing all success to Him. We may call this: thanking the self on the doorstep of servitude to Allah, for success is only by Allah. Moreover, if a person does not thank and appreciate himself from within, no amount of external appreciation will ever compensate, because Self-esteem comes from within, not from outside. Therefore, we should thank ourselves for what we do and connect this gratitude with a second gratitude, which is thanking Allah for His enabling grace. And here the question arises: How can we thank ourselves? Imagine with me. At the end of your day, before you close the curtain on this day, let your mind pass through the scenes of your day and remember: What are the things you did today that affected you and those around you? What positive and kind actions did you carry out today? Move through these scenes while remembering, thanking yourself, and encouraging yourself, and thank Allah that He helped you. Say to yourself, for example: Praise be to Allah that I woke up in the morning, got ready and took care of myself, worked and made effort, prayed, remembered Allah, completed household tasks, connected with my parents, checked on a friend, ate healthy food, exercised, rested, did something I enjoyed that renewed my energy, listened to a video from which I learned something beneficial, read, gave in charity, helped someone, said a kind word thanking another person, prevented harm from reaching myself or others, forgave, showed mercy, showed tenderness, smiled at someone. Imagine that all of this is goodness toward yourself and toward others. Goodness that deserves self-gratitude and gratitude to Allah. When we pay attention to the details of our day and thank ourselves for this goodness, we spread positivity within ourselves and encourage ourselves to do more. Encouragement releases initiative and effectiveness, and thanking Allah reminds us that He has blessed us by enabling us to do this good, even if it was small, even if it was only a smile. Do not underestimate a smile that leaves you and reaches someone before you, bringing them happiness and bringing yourself happiness along with them, in a moment when you chose to smile. As the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: Do not belittle any act of kindness, even if it is meeting your brother with a cheerful face. Narrated by Muslim. This simple smile deserves gratitude to oneself and gratitude to Allah for enabling us to smile. Some people believe they must first accomplish something great, such as memorizing the Holy Quran, earning a doctorate, or becoming wealthy, before they can thank themselves. The truth is that memorizing the Quran does not come in a single step. It is the result of many daily steps, each of which deserves self-gratitude to encourage more good actions, and gratitude to Allah for His enabling grace. The same applies to any action, whether large or small. There is no such thing as a small action. Every good action done sincerely for Allah is a great action, even if it is a smile. Self-gratitude and self-encouragement lead to a genuine sense of Self-esteem and freedom from dependence on external approval. This is important for Emotional Stability and equally important for sincerity in action and for giving without waiting for a return, whether material or moral. Giving freely from a place of inner sufficiency is the spirit of work and one of the secrets of inner strength. May Allah grant us and you the ability to thank Him in all our stillness and movement, and may He write us among the thankful. Try this with me: sit with yourself at the end of the day, even as you rest on your pillow, and thank yourself and thank Allah for the positive actions you carried out during the day. Pay attention to your inner feelings and to the blessing that fills your days. Then tell me: by how much did your sense of contentment and happiness rise?

Five Steps to Become the Original Version of Yourself Are you the original version of yourself? Or are you a copy of what those around you pull you toward, whether people, media, or the countless external influences scattered everywhere? Perhaps this is the most difficult era in which to remain authentic, because external influences that pour into the space of our inner world accumulate inside us in complex and rapid ways. They conceal our true selves from us and lead us toward feelings of confusion, loss, constriction, and perhaps even the illness of our age, depression. So how do we uncover our true selves and feel worth, confidence, contentment, and happiness? Five Steps to Being Authentic First In order to know your true self and gather yourself around it, you need to ask the most important question in your life: What are my highest values? What do I believe in? Second You need to ask yourself the second equally important question: What do I want? Third Your goals must align with your highest values so that your efforts flow toward achieving them, bringing you together with your true self. Otherwise, you will remain in loss and exhaustion, living a self that is not yours, a self shaped by external influence or by fears these influences have cast upon you, driving you to run confused and far from your own essence. Fourth You need to build life plans that stem from your highest values and simplify them into daily goals that you live for, because you chose them and because you are moving toward what you want. When you find that what you do flows into your highest values, you will feel comfort, tranquility, and contentment. Yes, without doubt all of us are tested, suffer, and show patience. Yet storms will not harm us as long as we sail in the vessel we chose and hold firmly to. The storms will pass and we will remain standing. But how exhausting those storms become when they strike us while we do not know where we are and never choose where we want to be. Fifth We need to pause for moments of inner reflection throughout our day and ask ourselves: How do I feel right now? What am I thinking about? What am I doing? Are my thoughts, feelings, and actions flowing toward what I want? Or am I scattered and lost? If you find yourself absorbed in a tiring internal dialogue about something that happened between you and someone else, gather yourself again with the following questions: Does what I am thinking help me move toward what I want? If not, choose to think about something that serves your goals. If you go through a difficult or discouraging experience, stop and ask yourself: Is there something I can learn from this that will help me move toward what I want? Learn from what happened and return your focus to what you want. And if something catches your attention because the media glorifies it or people praise it, pulling you away from yourself, ask yourself again to return safely to your foundation: Is this truly what I want? Where am I going, and what do I want? It is natural to get distracted from our path at times. That distraction will make us feel constriction, and then we return with love and longing to what we truly want. It is also natural to sometimes forget and be pulled toward what we do not want. We will then feel lost, and so we return to stand with ourselves in a moment of inner exploration and ask: What do I feel? What am I thinking? What am I doing? What do I want? Through this, we regain our awareness and return to our true selves, the selves that know what they believe in, where they are heading, and what they desire. We feel contentment and happiness because we are on the path. This is the wisdom in the fact that we have been granted free will. Allah honored us with the ability to choose. We will never find true happiness unless we possess freedom of choice and freedom of decision, living our lives as people who are guided, not dragged. Some people live their entire lives never discovering their highest values and never knowing what they want from this life. Many of them remain lost. Others discover their highest values and know the goals connected to those values, yet spend their days elsewhere, hoping to find meaning in illusions and images drawn for them by others. Those are the inauthentic ones. And there is a small group who know their purpose in this life and strive to make their days and their every moment a reflection of what they believe in. These are the ones who truly believe. These are the authentic ones. We ask Allah to make us among them, to make His pleasure our greatest concern, and to guide our thoughts, feelings, and actions every day toward His love and His pleasure, free from anything else. O Allah, Amen.

It is common in our traditional parenting practices, unfortunately, that we expect our children to perform tasks that require building a skill and forming a habit, such as organizing their room or studying, simply by giving orders or resorting to rewards and punishments. This happens without any awareness of what a skill actually needs in order to form in the brain. For example, to train a child in the skill of organizing his room, we need to explain the steps and details of the task, then encourage him to carry it out under our supervision, making sure the tasks are age-appropriate. After that, we move to the stage of having him do it independently, with gentle reminders if he forgets, and without blame, so that we help the skill form in the brain and deepen its pathways until it becomes a habit. Many parents are unaware of how habits and skills are formed in the brain. They want their child to leap in a single jump from the stage of first learning about a task to the stage of consistent commitment, sometimes within a single day. This is impossible, because weak skill pathways in the brain make a person unaware of performing them and cause him to forget easily whenever something more enjoyable or more important to him comes to mind. Parents then turn to rewards and punishment and to negative discipline methods to bridge the wide gap between first knowledge and genuine skill. The child becomes discouraged, and the struggle, resistance, and misbehavior begin. What Is the Solution? Let us take the skill of studying as an example. One: Explain the steps of the task at the beginning and supervise your child afterward to ensure he has understood all parts and details. For example, explain to your child how to study and sit with him to make sure he is sitting, focusing, and following the steps correctly so he can acquire the skill of studying. You may eventually sit nearby once you see the skill developing, but in the beginning he needs your presence beside him to get used to sitting and focusing, which is genuinely difficult for a child at first. Two: Prepare the place and time for practicing the habit. This helps the brain master it until it becomes second nature. Set a clear rule, such as study time begins at four o'clock. Prepare a comfortable, appropriate, and distraction-free space, and sit with him there to bring comfort, warmth, and tranquility. Three: Remind with love. Remind your child with love and without tension if he is late starting his studying or becomes occupied with something else. Use brief words in a firm tone that neither frightens nor blames, such as: "Studying is a priority." How Much Time Will This Take? It depends on several factors and there is no fixed answer. Your child may acquire the skill within a month, or he may need your follow-up and encouragement for years. This is not a matter of intelligence but of the type of intelligence. A child with high bodily-kinesthetic or social intelligence will naturally need more time than a child with high introspective intelligence, who tends to enjoy sitting and focusing more. Remember that no one is smarter than another. Our differences are wisdom and beauty from Allah the All-Knowing and All-Wise, so that this world may flourish and each person may be guided toward what he was created for. The strength of your relationship with your child and his love for you also make it easier for him to build the positive habits you invite him toward. A strained relationship, on the other hand, causes children to resist both the parent and the virtuous actions he calls them toward, as a form of retaliation for poor treatment. When you follow up with your child and encourage him to build positive habits, you are laying within him the habits of excellence and success that he will need throughout his life. But when you scold, blame, or punish your child while unaware of how difficult it is for a habit to form in the brain, you raise a discouraged person who lacks Self-confidence, sees himself as unable to meet your expectations, loses the desire for growth and self-development, and feels helpless. Your treatment of your child, your patience with him, and your encouragement shape the features of his character and ignite his inner motivation to move forward. So be mindful of your reaction, and be gentle. The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: "Gentleness is not found in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it disgraces it." Narrated by Muslim.

In these blessed days, many mothers wish to connect their children with the rituals of Hajj in order to nurture in them a reverence for the symbols of Allah. This is something good. However, in doing so, the story of Ibrahim and Ismail the sacrificial son is often brought up. The question is: are the details of this story appropriate for a child? The story of Ibrahim and Ismail the sacrificial son aims to purify the heart from everything other than Allah. In the example of Prophet Ibrahim we find a noble model that teaches us to cleanse our hearts from all attachments that compete with our love for Allah. But does the child truly grasp the meaning of this story when you tell it to him? Certainly not. What does the child understand then? A child understands that Allah commanded Prophet Ibrahim to sacrifice his son, but he does not understand why Allah commanded him to do so. This is why he may ask his father: "Will Allah ask you to sacrifice me?" And this is exactly what many children in kindergartens have asked, especially the more intelligent ones. Telling this story with all its details to a young child may lead to negative assumptions about Allah in the long term, and it will certainly not draw him closer to the path of Allah, because the purpose of the story is beyond his level of understanding. The details should therefore be delayed until after the age of nine. What Do We Tell a Young Child When He Asks About the Eid Sheep? We can explain to him that Allah gifted Prophet Ibrahim a sheep because he obeyed Allah, without mentioning that Allah had commanded Prophet Ibrahim to sacrifice his son. We add these details later when the child grows older and his understanding matures. We can also explain to our younger children that the Prophet of Allah, Prophet Ibrahim, loved Allah deeply and always obeyed Him, and that Allah gifted him the sheep because of his obedience. When we see the sheep, we should remember how Prophet Ibrahim loved Allah and obeyed Him, and we should be like him, loving Allah and obeying Him. This helps anchor the child in the early foundations of faith-building. Some may ask: but this story is mentioned in the Noble Quran, so why do we withhold it from the child? Not everything mentioned in the Quran needs to be explained in detail to a young child. We do not, for example, explain the concept of adultery to a child even though it is mentioned in the Quran. We explain only what the child's mind is capable of understanding. How Do We Explain Hajj to a Child? We tell our children that Allah commanded Prophet Ibrahim and Prophet Ismail to build the Kaaba, and we tell them why: so that people would come there and gather to worship Allah and obey Him in that beautiful scene we witness, where voices rise from that sacred place filling the sky with "There is no god but Allah." A child can understand this. A child can also understand that Allah commanded Prophet Ibrahim to call people to Hajj so that they would gather and worship Him alone, repeating "There is no god but Allah." Do We Tell the Child That Satan Is Our Enemy and That This Is Why Pilgrims Throw Stones at Him? After the age of seven it is appropriate for a child to learn that Satan is a creature made of fire, and we can then narrate to him the story of how Allah commanded Satan to prostrate with the angels before our father Adam. Before that age, however, the child needs to know his Lord and become attached to Him before learning much about Satan, so that he does not imagine Satan as equal to Allah or come to fear him. We tell our children above the age of seven that with the story of the angels prostrating to Adam, Satan's enmity toward human beings began, and that he vowed to misguide us and keep us away from the straight path. On the Day of the Greater Hajj we remember this enmity and renew our covenant with Allah that we will not follow Satan, which is what throwing the pebbles symbolizes. Many mothers believe they need to fill their children's minds with a great deal of information in order for them to become better or smarter. We remind them that this is not correct. We are commanded to speak to people according to the capacity of their intellect. In the early stages of faith-building, a child needs attachment to Allah and a grounding in His Oneness more than anything else. Then he needs attachment to His Messenger and the Noble Quran. After that we expand according to the child's understanding as he grows. The years ahead will come, with Allah's permission, and his understanding will deepen. From wisdom is to seize the right moment and not to rush. Remember to repeat with your children during these blessed days the Takbir of Hajj: "Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest, there is no god but Allah. Allah is the Greatest, Allah is the Greatest, and to Allah belongs all praise." Say it together with a beautiful, unified voice that brings them comfort and nurtures their love for remembering Allah. May Allah accept your good deeds, and may you be well every year.

Losing Well-being means losing happiness and balance, feeling intense jealousy toward the success of others, experiencing rapid discouragement, being unable to build a peaceful marital relationship, being unable to form warm social relationships, struggling continuously at work, and suffering from depression, which is a psychological illness that grows more prevalent day after day. There is no doubt that families play the primary role in raising individuals who do or do not possess Well-being and Emotional Stability. And this unbalanced child may be the top of his class, or he may be at the bottom. A school grade is not a measure of Well-being, as some people believe. So what is the most widespread cause found in families that strive for distinguished parenting, who believe they are doing something good for their children, while this very method leads to the loss of Well-being and exposes children to real suffering in the future, with most parents completely unaware of the mistake? What Is This Harmful Method? In this article I will discuss an approach that many fathers and mothers follow, believing it will lead to distinguished parenting, while in reality it destroys their children's Well-being and Self-esteem. It is the approach of trying to improve behavior through exaggerated praise and harsh negative criticism for mistakes. Exposing a child to harsh negative criticism when he makes a mistake, whether through direct words or a cutting look, and praising him excessively when he performs a desirable behavior, believing this will shape him into what we want, is one of the primary reasons our children lose their balance and Well-being, as studies indicate. It may even lead to personality disorders that do not appear until after the age of eighteen. Unfortunately, this approach of harsh criticism and exaggerated praise is widespread in many families. It makes a person captive to the approval of others, intensely sensitive to the success of those around him, and quickly discouraged when he makes a mistake. What Is the Alternative? First: Separate the behavior from the person. Do not say "You are selfish." Say instead "This behavior shows selfishness." Second: Praise the effort and intention, not only the outcome. If he made a sincere effort but did not succeed, say "I liked your attempt and how seriously you approached it." Third: Teach him how to evaluate his own behavior rather than waiting for your constant approval. For example, ask him "What do you think of what you did?" With this approach, we build within him a living conscience capable of self-evaluation. We free him from unhealthy dependence on the approval of others, and we make his Self-confidence come from within, not from applause or humiliation. Well-being is not built with words. It is built through the daily way we treat our children.

All the levels of faith are built upon having good expectations of Allah. Psychological balance is also rooted in having good expectations of Allah. Hardship is one of the natural laws of life. Strengthening our trust in Allah and our positive expectations of Him will certainly help us see hardship in a positive light, allowing us to feel tranquility and peace in the face of life’s storms. Today, as we pass through a blessed memory, the memory of the noble Hijrah filled with moments that deepen our knowledge of Allah and strengthen our certainty in His presence, how can we benefit from it and grow toward what is better? Let us contemplate the Day of Hijrah. The Prophet, peace be with him, set out from Makkah to Madinah to spread the message of Islam in Madinah after the severe oppression he faced from the people of Makkah and their powerful resistance to the message. He planned for this journey with great care, remaining committed to the supplication mentioned in the words of Allah Most High: “My Lord, cause me to enter with a true entrance and to exit with a true exit, and grant me from Yourself a supporting authority.” Let us reflect on this remarkable story. The First Scene: Contemplating the Role of our Master Ali On the Day of Hijrah, the Prophet, peace be with him, entrusted our master Ali ibn Abi Talib to remain in Makkah in order to return the trusts to their owners. He asked him to sleep in his bed. The disbelievers of Quraysh came to kill him. What is the natural outcome expected in such a moment? Naturally, they would kill him in the bed thinking he was the Prophet. But Allah, the Protector, guarded him and kept him safe. They were inspired to uncover the blanket before attacking him, and thus realized he was not the Prophet. Why did Allah protect our master Ali? Because he feared none but Allah and cared only for Allah’s pleasure. Allah, the Protector, took him into His care and safeguarded him. The Second Scene: The Cave The Prophet, peace be with him, left Makkah heading toward Madinah, accompanied by his beloved companion Abu Bakr. They reached the entrance of the Cave of Thawr, where the Prophet and Abu Bakr were hiding. The disbelievers came very close to them. Abu Bakr felt afraid, and the Prophet reassured him saying: “What do you think of two, when Allah is the third of them?” Which Name of Allah did the Prophet, peace be with him, experience in this moment? Give your children time to think. The Protector will guard me. The Near One sees me and hears me. The Helper will support me. The Guardian will never leave me. And indeed, Allah the Near, the Protector, the Guardian kept them hidden. The disbelievers did not see them nor enter the cave due to Allah’s protection and care. How can the Names of Allah help you with their strength and beauty when you feel afraid? Are there moments when you feel fear? How can you strengthen yourself using the Names of Allah? The Third Scene: The Story of Suraqah ibn Malik A scene filled with awe, leaving the heart amazed at Allah’s power and His protection for those He loves and those who seek His pleasure. When Quraysh learned of the Prophet’s Hijrah, they announced a reward of one hundred camels for whoever captured the Prophet, peace be with him, alive or dead. Suraqah ibn Malik heard the announcement and set out following the tracks of the Prophet, hoping for the reward. When he drew close to the Prophet and Abu Bakr, and was about to reach them, the legs of his horse sank into the sand, and he could not move forward. Suraqah informed the Prophet of Quraysh’s plot. The Prophet asked him to conceal their location and promised him the bracelets of Kisra in return. Suraqah went back and hid the whereabouts of the Prophet and Abu Bakr. This was part of Allah’s care for His Prophet, for Allah changed Suraqah’s intention. He came seeking the reward and left protecting the Prophet, causing no harm. How did Allah, the Protector, safeguard His Prophet in this moment? Each time Suraqah got closer, Allah caused his horse to sink into the sand. Which Names of Allah can you identify from this scene? How can this make you stronger in your life and help you organize your priorities? How does Allah protect, care for, and guard us? Allow your children to think and answer. When our greatest concern is Allah’s pleasure, when seeking His approval is more important than the approval of any person or any group, He protects us as He protected His prophets and His righteous servants. It is essential to hang this hadith in the home and have your children memorize it and repeat it often to strengthen their faith: From Abdullah ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with them both, who said: “I was behind the Prophet, peace be with him, one day, and he said: ‘O young boy, I shall teach you some words. Guard Allah and He will guard you. Guard Allah and you will find Him before you. If you ask, ask Allah. If you seek help, seek help from Allah. Know that if the whole nation were to gather to benefit you, they would never benefit you except with what Allah has written for you. And if they were to gather to harm you, they would never harm you except with what Allah has written against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.’” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, who said: It is a good and authentic hadith.

“Prove yourself” is a phrase that spreads widely in our communities. The intention behind it is to encourage a person to put in effort and show that he is capable and distinguished. Let us explore this phrase a little to see whether it gives us strength or weakness, and whether we should benefit from it or reject it. A person shines and becomes creative when his motivation for work comes from within. Only then can he overcome the obstacles and discouragement that everyone inevitably faces in their work and in their life. How do we know if our motivation is internal or external? Internal motivation is the inner desire of a person to carry out work because he believes in it, loves it, and wants to improve through it. He wants to perform it in the best way to reach personal fulfillment. This is the internal motivation of the ordinary person. As for the believer, he adds to that the desire to seek the pleasure of his Lord and to find this work recorded in his scale of good deeds on the Day of Judgment. External motivation is the desire to perform work driven by external rewards. This desire grows with material rewards or people’s approval and decreases when these rewards or approval fade. External motivation is temporary and depends on how often the external incentive appears. It disappears when the incentive stops. What happens when you work to prove yourself? A person who adopts this idea believes that gaining praise, approval, trust, and status depends on what he does now and what he says about himself. This belief is mistaken. A person may gain some approval when he does something good at the moment, but this does not prove that he is truly worthy of trust or status. To deserve trust, a person must pass through a period of time in which he demonstrates patience in work, flexibility, positivity in difficult situations, the ability to overcome discouragement, acceptance of constructive criticism, and dedication in his work regardless of external rewards. This does not happen overnight. It requires time for these psychological skills to appear, the skills that lead to creative and excellent work and that lead to deserving trust. The person who possesses these skills does not work to gain trust but works sincerely. He is happy with the contentment of his supervisors because he feels that he fulfilled the trust. The mindset of “prove yourself”: When you work to prove yourself, you will not tolerate the criticism or guidance of your supervisors, because you will think it means you are not competent. Yet competence grows and declines; it is not a fixed standard. Refusing criticism keeps us limited and prevents us from growing and flourishing. But when you work to please Allah and you are sincere in your work, you will accept criticism with positivity and work on developing yourself. Then you move forward, fulfilling the trust and becoming deserving of confidence. When you work to prove yourself, you will hide your mistakes, justify them, and avoid admitting them. This makes you smaller in the eyes of others and in the eyes of your supervisors. But when you work sincerely for Allah, feeling the responsibility of trust, you will make sure to learn from your mistakes and correct them because Allah sees your work. When you work to prove yourself, you will be afraid when difficulties arise, because you want to show excellence and perfection. No one must discover a weakness in you. Fear prevents focus and prevents creative solutions, causing you to fail in facing difficulties and discouragement. You will then resort to excuses or blaming others, and your work will decline. When you work to prove yourself, you will feel jealous when others excel. You will think they are better than you, meaning they proved themselves and deprived you of the opportunity. This fills your thoughts with worry about them and fills your emotions with bitterness and frustration. Your insight dims, your inner self becomes clouded, and you lose the deep focus on your own work. Negative emotions extinguish clarity and concentration, causing you to fall behind while others move forward. “O human being, you are striving toward your Lord with great effort, and you will meet Him.” The mindset of “prove yourself” creates people with a fixed mindset. This mindset believes that intelligence, talent, and abilities are fixed since birth and do not change. Its standard of success is people’s praise. Its motivation is external, tied to material rewards and people’s approval. Sincerity in work, however, creates people with a growth mindset. This mindset believes that intelligence, talent, and abilities grow through effort, practice, and asking others for help. Its standard of success is learning and growth. Its motivation is internal, tied to the enjoyment of learning, personal development, and creativity. The trend of “prove yourself” produces individuals with weak sincerity, little patience, and fragile inner structure. They are always looking for excuses, blaming circumstances and others. Meanwhile, others advance far ahead while they remain limited and will continue to be limited. They will never truly prove themselves as long as they hold this mindset.

In recent years, the concept of spiritual intelligence has spread globally. It is a sensitive concept due to its connection with creed and the purpose of human existence. For this reason, every nation needs to develop its own definition that aligns with its philosophy and spiritual values, while sharing many universal principles that relate to human nobility and the elevation of the soul and character. What is spiritual intelligence? Stephen Covey mentions in his book The Eighth Habit that spiritual intelligence is the center and foundation of all other forms of intelligence because it becomes the guiding source for the others. Covey defines spiritual intelligence as the search for meaning and connection with the Eternal, meaning connection with something greater and more magnificent than ourselves and our lifespans. Marsha Sinetar, in her book on spiritual intelligence in children, links spiritual intelligence with the development of innate disposition. She defines spiritual intelligence as the intelligence of fitrah. Kristján notes that what distinguishes individuals with high spiritual intelligence is awareness of others, the ability to question and feel reverence, sensitivity to what is spiritual, wisdom, foresight, and a deep sense of the presence of Allah and responsiveness to reminders of Him. Dana Zohar defines spiritual intelligence as the essential foundation for activating the functions of both rational intelligence and emotional intelligence. She describes it as our ultimate human intelligence. What are the dimensions of spiritual intelligence? Emmons defines spiritual intelligence through five dimensions: • The ability to transcend and elevate the self • The ability to build spiritually meaningful relationships free from personal interests • The ability to enter high states of spiritual awareness • The ability to use spiritual resources when facing daily problems • The ability to act with virtue, such as forgiveness, gratitude, humility, compassion, and wisdom Is spiritual intelligence innate or acquired? Spiritual intelligence consists of several abilities. These abilities are both innate and acquired. Spiritual intelligence is the intelligence of fitrah. A human being is born upon fitrah, but his parents either help him rise spiritually and morally or cause him to fall. After that, a person continues his path in life, making decisions that either elevate him or lower him. Do people differ in their spiritual intelligence at birth? Yes, people differ in this. Even within the same household, one child may show strong indicators of high spiritual intelligence from a young age, while it may not appear in the same way in his sibling. Defining spiritual intelligence in the light of Islamic creed Spiritual intelligence is connected to the purpose of human existence. These purposes differ according to belief systems, and thus the definition of spiritual intelligence is influenced by the goals a person believes in. The more sound the creed, the more it offers its followers a real opportunity for complete spiritual elevation. Therefore, believing in a correct creed and following it with sincerity leads to the highest development of spiritual intelligence. What is the relationship between spiritual intelligence and sound creed? A sound creed is the fitrah creed. It is the belief in one God, the Creator and Sustainer of this universe, without any partner. All matters return to Him alone.

We have received many sad messages about being separated from the mosques and the Sacred House, and many feelings of guilt due to what some perceive as a divine punishment affecting humanity. Added to this are our fears of global economic collapse, our anxiety about an unknown future, and many other concerns that stir within us emotions of sadness, fear, and worry. All of this occurs within the circle of Corona, where our negative emotions revolve until Allah wills otherwise. So has having good expectations of Allah disappeared from the scene of Corona? Has positivity vanished? What is the wisdom behind what is happening? And what opportunity can you offer yourself and your child through Corona to build faith and strengthen trust in Allah? How can you use Corona to teach yourself and your child positivity and good expectations of Allah? One: To instill good expectations of Allah, repeat the following positive phrase: There is much good within the trial of Corona. We may not understand it fully, but Allah the Wise decrees everything with wisdom and goodness. Two: Ask yourself and your child about the wisdom behind these events: What is the wisdom and good for people in what is happening? What is the wisdom that you personally can benefit from by changing your lifestyle for the better under the Corona situation? Has the environment improved in the absence of human destruction? What is the wisdom and good for the environment, animals, and birds? Let your child think and answer. Discuss with him. Ask a new question every day. Three: Be a role model in faith and positivity: Do not overemphasize fear without balancing it with hope. Let hope prevail. Be a role model in remembering Allah, making du’a, and using time for good. Four: The risk of addiction is extremely high: Do not allow addiction to television, phones, or video games during lockdown. The situation strongly predisposes children to severe screen addiction, which leads afterwards to depression and negativity. Be firm in preventing this. Set a time limit for yourself and your family that no one exceeds. Inform them scientifically of the severity of the harm and discuss it with them. Five: Use positive visualization: No one knows how long this isolation may last. It may extend beyond a year or even two, as a study from Imperial College London suggests. You will not exit it the same way you entered it. Therefore you must create a plan. How do you wish to be when this period ends? Imagine yourself. Write a practical and positive plan and follow it. Six: Corona is a golden opportunity for growth: Use positive and constructive words with yourself and your loved ones: Allah, the Most Merciful and Most Loving, grants us opportunities to change for the better, just as in Ramadan. This is an opportunity for us: An opportunity to become clearer, to reflect, to breathe, to feel calm, and to grow internally. An opportunity to free ourselves from our attachments to people and from seeking people’s attention. An opportunity that Allah granted us in His mercy, slowing down the wheel of life that we chase without awareness. An opportunity for seclusion with the self, for quietening the noise of reputation, for reviewing mistakes, adjusting priorities, and discovering what we truly want. An opportunity to find comfort with Allah and in remembering Him, to find comfort in knowledge and feel its value. An opportunity to find comfort with our family members, to create memories of happiness that strengthen our bonds with them, for they are the most precious gifts we have. An opportunity for compassion and making du’a for people’s safety and goodness, to unify our feelings with humanity and free ourselves from personal and ethnic selfishness, and to learn the principle of “everyone wins.” An opportunity, rare and inspiring, to discover ourselves, the selves we never gave enough attention to amid the frantic pace of life. An opportunity to analyze the details of our lives, replace and adjust, and create a balanced harmony between the happiness of this world and the next. Corona is a golden opportunity, so seize it to grow and flourish.

There is something inside us that drives us to strive and move. Powerful forces push us to act, in our mornings and in our evenings, as if we are searching for something we long for. There is something deep within us that we need. Yes, we move throughout our day for many reasons. We may be striving for success. We may want to feel strong. We may long for distinction. We may desire to appear beautiful and perfect in the eyes of those around us. But have we ever asked ourselves about the true nature of our motives? What lies behind our actions? Do we desire these things for their own sake? Or are they a means to fulfill deeper needs hidden within us, inside us, in the depth of our depths? I asked myself again and again. Then I searched and examined. I felt that we desire something else. Something beyond success, distinction, and beauty. Something that these achievements bring to us. I saw that much of our striving comes from wanting to feel accepted. We act because we thirst for appreciation. We excel because we desire love. We want to feel loved, and we want to give love in return. For our souls cannot rest except through love. They are thirsty for love, and nothing quenches them except love. Ah, I feel the heart of every human being longing for love, calling out: “Where are you, O love? Where can I find you? I need you, and I see no happiness without you. Comfort me, O love. Tell me where I can find you, for I am tired of running and searching and striving for your sake.” How often I see in people’s eyes the thirst of their hearts for you, O love. How deeply I feel their need for peace and happiness. I now hear a gentle whisper, a tender call, murmured by the heart of a human being speaking to love: “I searched for you, O love, among people. And whenever I thought I had reached you or felt a trace of you, you would disappear. All I found was an illusion. Tell me, O love. I am exhausted. I am close to losing hope that I will ever find you.” Love heard the heart’s call and answered: “You want me so your heart can beat? Your soul longs for me to live? Yes, for I am the essence of happiness and the purpose of existence. Whoever finds me has arrived, and whoever loses me becomes constricted and loses his life and effort.” Love continued: “You search for me among people? Perhaps one day you will find me there. But you will never find my true essence. What you will find is only a faint glow of me, shining at times and fading at others. People love you for themselves, not for you. They may hurt you while you try to do good for them. They may deprive you or withhold from you. They may misunderstand you and cause you sorrow. And in those moments my glow fades.” “Well then, tell me, O love. Where do I find you? Tell me and bring me peace,” the heart asked with longing. Love answered: “You want to enjoy me through a human being? Yes, if that relationship is lawful you will find a form of me, otherwise your heart will burn after the initial warmth. You will find me through lawful love, yet even then I will shine at times and dim at others. Human beings make mistakes. Weakness touches them. They cannot bring benefit to themselves nor repel harm from themselves, so how can they bring it to you or repel it from you? You may not find them with you one day. You may not find them for you every day. For they are human, and weakness is woven into their nature.” “Then where do I find you, O love? I am weary from seeking you,” the heart sighed. Love replied: “O heart, you will find me. Yes, you will find me. And you will find my true essence, not my fleeting shadows. You will find me when you taste true beauty. I will move within your depths when you behold perfection. I will shine between your ribs when you witness true goodness. But remember, I will not remain or settle within you unless you taste eternal beauty that never fades, perfection untouched by weakness or deficiency, and goodness that never ceases.” The heart said: “O love, I want you. I want you to come, to move, to shine within my depths. You are my life, my longing, my joy. Guide me to the path of your dwelling place. Guide me so I may find you and be happy.” O heart, contemplate. Love said: “O heart, have you reflected upon yourself? Have you contemplated your states? If you truly saw yourself, you would know your Lord, and love would flow through you. For love is closer to you than your own heartbeat!” I depend on Your power and Your care. “O heart, awaken. O heart, attach yourself to the One who created you and cares for you, in your days and in your nights. He strengthens you. He illuminates your path with understanding. By His provision you live and continue, and without Him you fade and vanish. Your life is through Him. Your return is to Him. O my Lord, how deeply I love You, the One by whom I live and in whose Hands all my affairs rest.” How delightful is Your goodness. “O heart, pay attention. O heart, reflect. With every sip of water that quenches your ribs, with every delicious bite that satisfies your hunger, with every recovery after illness, with every mercy after pain, see Allah’s giving enveloping you, and His love filling you. O my Lord, how I love You, You who feed me, give me drink, care for me, and heal me. Yes, I love You and I love You. Day and night I live in the sweetness of Your generosity and goodness.” My Lord, I sleep and then awaken, and I find Your mercy preceded my awareness. My soul returns flowing through my limbs, my consciousness is restored, and my emotions are renewed with hope. I breathe in the promise of goodness. I rise and strive through Your mercy, I move through my day through Your care, a human being honored by You beyond measure, my soul a breath from the Spirit of Allah. How tender is Your care. How Your generosity is renewed every day. I adore Your deep compassion. Sometimes I feel burden overwhelming my being, discouragement shaking my core. Then You send me, my Lord, a glad tiding that lifts my sorrow, or a gentle hand that wipes away my sadness, or even sleep that lightens my heaviness, and I awaken to find my worries diminished and small, replaced by a smile of hope glowing in my heart. How delicate is Your closeness. How great is Your care. I love You and I love Your comfort and Your profound tenderness. I make mistakes, and You are patient with me and forgive much. I persist, and You bring me back to You with a trial that purifies me from my wrongdoing and raises my rank and station. Life becomes burdensome, so I flee to You and call upon You. Then You take charge of my affairs, and You decree for me what is good. Wisdom and Mercy are woven into Your decrees. Glory be to You. How just is Your judgment. How great is Your help. How sweet is Your tenderness even in hardship. I shine with Your love when I see compassion and love in the hearts of those around me. I am full of flaws, yet You show people only my strengths and talents. How gentle is Your covering. How generous is Your giving. I love You for the magnificence of Your tenderness. I became attached to Your eternal beauty. My heart longs to taste beauty, to fill my senses and soul with its sweetness. My heart becomes attached to…

Spontaneity is the absence of pretension and artificiality that come from wanting to gain people’s approval. Spontaneity means that I behave naturally, accepting myself and accepting others as well. Spontaneity comes from appreciating the value of our uniqueness and recognizing that we do not need to become copies of others in order to feel belonging. Spontaneity is positivity, flow, and freedom from the fear of rejection or criticism, and freedom from the constant focus on how people see us. Spontaneity is when my outward appearance matches my inner self. Spontaneity means having a heart open to love, embracing life with a spirit of acceptance and contentment. Spontaneity is having the heart of a child and the mind of an adult. Spontaneity is comfort for the heart. We feel happy with people around whom we can be ourselves and act naturally, and the opposite is also true. Spontaneity means being at peace with oneself and behaving without the constraints of tension, but within the boundaries of wisdom and seeking the pleasure of Allah. Spontaneity does not mean losing wisdom when speaking or acting, nor losing courtesy or respect. When I speak spontaneously, I remain aware of the wisdom behind my words: Is what I am saying beneficial? Is it comfortable for the person listening to me? Am I seeking the pleasure of Allah through it? People feel comfortable with spontaneity and sense it deeply, and they are repelled by pretension and can sense it, even if they do not express it. Spontaneity is an attractive quality in a woman, contrary to what some women believe, causing them to pretend and exhaust themselves with no benefit. Spontaneity is one of the secrets of influence and one of the secrets of a successful marital relationship. Spontaneity draws a child toward a woman and helps in raising a child with a confident character. The more self-esteem declines, the more a person becomes pretentious, strained, and perhaps even dishonest. And the more a person’s self-esteem rises, the more spontaneous and natural he becomes, because he loves himself and does not wait for others to love him through their approval or opinions. A negative environment kills spontaneity, while spontaneity grows in a positive environment filled with appreciation and goodwill.

To build our self-confidence, we must free ourselves from the unconscious mindset of comparison and from seeking people’s approval. Self-confidence is not built from the outside. It grows from within, through self-knowledge and unconditional self-acceptance, with all strengths and weaknesses, and through the desire to improve without waiting for any external emotional or material reward. In the first article, we explored the causes that lead to low self-confidence. In this article, we look at the steps to healing: Free yourself from comparing yourself with others, and focus on your true value so you can grow and flourish. First: Your value is high because Allah has honored and chosen you, regardless of the negative messages you may have heard. You are among the most honored beings Allah created, and among the most beautiful and noble. The angels prostrated in honor of your father Adam, and in honor of you who came from him. You were created with this honor so you may fulfill the purpose of your existence, which is to be a khalifah on earth. Your value is elevated by this Divine selection. To preserve this honor, you must walk toward the purpose for which you were created: worship and contributing goodness to the world. What you are required to do is always within your capacity and abilities, so you may please Allah and thank Him for His blessings. You are not required to achieve what is beyond your human ability. Free yourself from comparing yourself with others, and focus on your true value so you can grow and flourish. Second: The mindset of comparison is a network of mental patterns that grew stronger with repetition until it became a fixed way of thinking. Healing requires the creation of a new mental network that replaces the old one through specific exercises. This takes time, yet it is the solution. You will feel increasing comfort, strength, and self-confidence as these new pathways deepen in your mind. Be patient and persistent. Third: You must accept that you experience negative emotions toward yourself or others when they arise. Allow these emotions to surface clearly before your eyes. Seek forgiveness and show compassion toward yourself so you can move away from self-blame toward solution-building. This develops your self-awareness and helps you notice when you feel weak, and when and how you fall into negative comparison, so you can address the problem. Fourth: If comparison is part of your environment, it will weaken your attempts to grow. Speak kindly with those who use this approach with you, explain its harm, and ask them to stop. When they forget and repeat it, use a gentle hand gesture and a smile to remind them, then step away. Continually remind yourself that their behavior is wrong and does not reflect your true value. Try to avoid competitive or negative people because they pull you away from your positive focus on yourself. Fifth: Free yourself from the illusion of finding your worth through people’s eyes. People’s approval is something that can never be fully attained. No one is perfect. Human beings were created weak, full of flaws, moving through life only by the generosity, help, and protection of Allah. They shift between blessings and trials. The mindset of comparison contradicts Allah’s wisdom and perfect justice in His distribution of gifts. Allah created us with different strengths and levels of intelligence, wealth, abilities, beauty, families, and interests so we may complement one another, practice gratitude, develop patience, and reach His pleasure. Allah, the All-Just, gave everything with fairness, but in diverse proportions as a test. Wisdom lies in focusing on what Allah gave you and using it to move forward, without wasting energy noticing the blessings of others with pain or resentment. To grow positively, establish this mental principle within yourself: Focus on your abilities. Be grateful. Do not compare. Sixth: When you catch your mind comparing negatively, shift your thinking immediately and pray sincerely for the person you compared yourself to, asking Allah to bless them and make them beneficial to this Ummah. This is essential for building a positive mental association and interrupting the unconscious comparison pattern. Remember that the angels will pray for you in return. The more you pray for others, the more you free yourself from comparison. Prayer is a powerful healing method; keep it among your priorities. Seventh: When you find yourself comparing, ask yourself: Is there something positive I can learn? Is there an area in which I would like to grow? Ask yourself these questions with positive feelings toward yourself and toward the person you are learning from. Negative emotions suppress learning and block wisdom. Every human being is unique with their abilities, emotions, and circumstances. What suits others may not suit you. Not every admirable trait is something you truly need. Free your interests from the pain of wishing and from unconscious imitation. Eighth: Healing the comparison mindset requires positive focus on yourself and your goals. Begin by truly discovering yourself, something you may have missed due to the lack of psychological freedom in our upbringing and the widespread use of conditional acceptance. We do not blame our parents; they believed these methods were the best ways to help us grow. They did not know the psychological effects of such approaches. This was the best they had. Now is the time to walk a healing path, address what those years caused, and release their impact from your inner world.