How do you deal with your child's mistake? Do you frighten him? Do you punish him out of anger? Do you leave him without correction? How did the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, deal with mistakes? Did he frighten the person? Did he frown at him? Or did he correct with gentleness and mercy? Muawiyah ibn al-Hakam al-Sulami, may Allah be pleased with him, said: "While I was praying with the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, a man among the people sneezed. So I said, 'May Allah have mercy on you.' The people stared at me, so I said, 'May my mother be bereaved of me, why are you looking at me like that?' And they began striking their thighs with their hands. When I saw them signaling me to be silent, I fell silent. When the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, finished the prayer, by my father and mother, I have never seen before him nor after him a teacher better in his teaching than he was. By Allah, he did not scold me, he did not strike me, he did not insult me. He said: This prayer is not fitting for any speech of people. It is only tasbih, takbir, and the recitation of the Quran." Narrated by Muslim. Where did we get the idea that we must frighten our children and make them hate themselves in order to correct their behavior? Does discouragement and fear correct behavior, or does it raise slaves? Fear raises cowardly slaves. Trust, gentleness, and good faith raise free and courageous individuals. So which are you? A nurturer of slaves or a nurturer of the free? Correct the mistake without frightening your child.

Many fathers and mothers believe that a child must feel shame and guilt in order to stop negative behavior. They assume that humiliation and harsh treatment are the ideal solution. Then they are surprised when their child's misbehavior only increases. Humiliation, blame, shouting, and anything that makes a child hate himself will lower his self-esteem. When self-esteem declines, a person becomes tense, his awareness weakens, and his behavior becomes even worse as a result. For our child's behavior to improve, there are two essential principles: First: He must feel accepted even when he misbehaves. The wrong behavior is unacceptable, but he remains a good person even when he makes a mistake. All people make mistakes and learn from them. Separate the person from the behavior, and engage him in discussion so he arrives at the conclusion that the behavior is wrong through questions such as: Is this behavior wrong? Why? Second: We must engage them in dialogue, listen to them, and discuss with them in a spirit of confidence and without accusation, so they can think of solutions to their behavioral problems themselves. For example: Is this behavior wrong? Why? How can you stop this behavior or change it? What do you intend to do? These dialogue questions must be grounded in the belief that he is a good person and that this is an opportunity for learning, not a chance for blame or for making him feel like he is a bad person. When we make our children feel accepted, they will cooperate with us. When we listen to them, they will listen to us. And when we ask them to work through their behavioral problems themselves, they will improve. Make the mistake an opportunity for learning, growth, the development of life skills, and the strengthening of problem-solving ability, instead of turning the mistake into a cause for self-hatred, which leads to more misbehavior, kills creativity, and weakens concentration and the capacity for clear thinking. From here begins the effectiveness of the individual and the effectiveness of society in achieving civilizational progress. With your growth, this generation rises.